Apr 5, 2021
My Coach asks me some pretty powerful questions.
Recently I was looking for suggestions for a good book about understanding emotions, and since she is an Emotions Coach I started with her. She came back with, “What are you looking for specifically?”
When I talked to her about losing weight for my daughter’s wedding in June she asked, “How do you talk to yourself in relation to food”, and “What are you actually looking for with your health?”
The times I’m feeling anxious about doing new things in my business she asks, “What would it feel like to trust yourself?”
Mentally, these questions feel like a train derailment . Because they are forcing me to look at my Want from a different perspective.
They are forcing me to know the WHY behind what I want. And I often don’t know at first.
Another Coach I work with, Jody Moore, teaches “We think we want to be comfortable, but what we really want is the result of discomfort.”
So with the weight loss example. I think I want to lose 10 pounds so that I’ll look good at my daughter’s wedding; so that in years to come, I won’t cringe when I see the photographs.
But what I really want is to learn to stop turning to food to answer my emotional needs. I really want to build muscle to avoid injury as I age. What I really want is to feel comfortable in my skin, to accept myself at every stage.
None of that actually requires weight loss, but it will require me to experience discomfort.
I’ll have to allow my food cravings, instead of give in to them. I’ll have to sweat it out early in the morning, under the strain of weights. I’ll have to unload the baggage of years of negative self-talk about my stomach pouch.
None of that is going to be super Comfortable. But it does feel Good.
But let’s back up to Knowing What You Want. All those questions my Coach asks are requiring me to know what I really want.
So I have an exercise for you.
Make a list of 50 things that you want. They can be material, abstract, emotional. ANYTHING.
Every 3rd or 4th thing you write, make it something that you already have. Like, I want to be married to my husband, I want to have a big yard and do the yard work, I want to spend one week per month caring for my parents. Give yourself time to make this list. There is no rush or deadline. Acknowledge that some of the things you want, you already have.
Know what you want, then you can get clear on WHY you want it. Knowing you want the things you already have creates a feeling of Abundance.
Simply wanting to look good in my daughter’s wedding photographs is fine. But it won’t create as Lasting a change as gaining authority over food and becoming disciplined in my workout routine, which is what I really want.
And that’s just so good to Know.
P.S. This is an exercise I can help you with as your Life Coach. Uncovering the WHY of your wants can bring up issues that need to be worked through. Schedule a 45 min Complimentary Session to begin your journey of knowing what you want, and why. You will thank yourself for doing this. Follow this link: https://meredithgcoaching.as.me/